Friday, June 11, 2010

Division and Rule

The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Division allocations had never been this competitive and unpredictable. HR had outsourced the process of Division/Business allocation to a Event management company with the hope of converting a cost-incurring activity into a profit-making event. After much brainstorming it was decided that the same would be decided by a Lightsaber fight tournament.



All the AUTs were paired against each other. The girls went for the cliched pink Lightsabers while the men dilly-dallied between green and blue Lightsabers. Some of the guys went ahead and got themselves tattooed with objects unrelated to the event like Skulls and Bats. Based on pre-match activites a few of the AUTs were seen to be a natural fit for some of the Divsions. Considering Tapan took longer than the girls to choose his dresses and dress up, it was decided that he would be allotted the Lifestyle Retailing Division.



Since HR is supposed to be good with managing the most important resources of any organisation, it was decided that they would be made Ringside judges.

 

The tournament began a week late since the Corporate HR wanted to stay consistent with their "Always 1-week late" theme. The AUTs fought valiantly and most of the matches were close. Finally we had the two surviving finalists Sudhanshu Porwal and Milam Saxena. They fought like how Neo and Anderson fought in 'Matrix Revolutions' inclusive of the special effects. Finally the match ended on even kneel and both of them were declared joint winners. Milam was sent to the Agri-Business Division and Sudhanshu went to Printing and Packaging Business Division while all the other AUTs were banished to ITD where they will spend 60% of their time convincing their friends that "Trade Marketing" is the same as "Sales".

 
The Event was a huge success. The TRP ratings hit the roof. Google reported that ten times more people played its Lightsaber match game doodle than the PacMan doodle. Lalit Modi has reportedly approached the CEO to make him the Commisioner for next year's event with a promise to glamorise the event with YouTube telecast, real cheerleaders and brand endorsements.
 


Inspired by the success, the event management company recommended to the Coporate HR that the final posting locations be decided in the same format. That would be a even more glitzy affair and is expected to throw up unpredicatble results. However the bookies have confirmed that the odds of Karan Sehegal being posted to Nagaland is higher than Warren Anderson being extradited to India.

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