Friday, December 26, 2008

Kudos Mr. PC


Our Home minister PC has already done a pretty good job as Finance minister to combat terror. His numerous steps have ensured that terror is never the same again. For the uninitiated here is a list of major stuff he did as FM to battle terror:

1. All of us know that one of the major sources for Terror funds is the stock market. By bringing it down to 50% he has singlehandedly cut off a major supply of terror funds. When stock prices were high, most people assumed it would stay high. So these terrorists started investing and funding like crazy, getting their fidayeens addicted to higher standards of terrorism. When those terror sources need to pull back on that spending, where do you think they will cut first? I think it will be hard to fund terrorists when you can't afford to pay the dhobiwala.

2. By having sky-high inflation the terrorists had to spend more on their operations. Since income was not growing so funds availability for future operations was lower. 

3. Growing interest rates meant that cost of funds had increased i.e. that much lesser funds available for future.

4. Barring the recent rally Mr. PC had managed to bring the amount of Terror funds into India. The $ was at Rs. 45-48 levels. Mr. PC brought it to Rs 39. So even if the Terror $ into India increased the end Re value was lower. So Mr. PC made the Terro sources spend more than what they would have for same end Re value. 

Keeping him as FM would have been beneficial in the long run. Just like how banks are scared of funding anything now, the terror sources too would have been scared of funding anything. Infact Terrorism would have died a slow death ! If only Shivaraj Patil had worried about terror as much he had about his clothes then it would have given PC a longer tenure as FM.  

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Smack D in the house !


Here I am ! Another milestone in my journey called Life ! The ISB-MMX bloggers war 1.0 is asking about the journey. (Deadline has passed ! But ki farak painda hai !) 

Getting into ISB was not easy ! It involved lot of planning and execution from others for me to get in. I paid my friend to prepare for GMAT on my behalf while I sat and finished 5 seasons of "Two and a Half Men". He had done a fine job coz I scored 720 though all that my other friend who wrote the GMAT on my behalf did was click the mouse. 

Then my roommate created a login for me at ISB and completed majority of my application details in exchange for letting him use my laptop to book his honeymoon travel. Then came the difficult part - Essays !!

Essay 1: Three reasons why ISB should take me
I asked my rival colleague to write it for me so that his biggest competitor is out of his way doing an MBA.  And Boy !! He did oblige gleefully and wrote it with intense passion.

Essay 2: Speech for GSB President
I asked my best friend to do it for me. He is full of shit and still has so much crap to offer to the world. So I thought why not give something to ISB. 

Essay 3: Zumba essay
For this I asked my Uncle who is a speech writer for the local MP. Crappola is his domain of expertise. He filled it up with so much of empty promises, blah-blah that ISB Adcom would have given a standing ovation after reading this one. 

Reco 1: This was the best way for my boss to get rid of me without looking evil and what a fine job he had done (for once!). If he had written even 10% of it for himself during the time when he was trying to crack MBA then he would have made it to Harvard.

Reco 2: This was the most expensive of all. I had to treat my colleague to a lunch at "China Valley" to write this one for me. And he didnt let the Fried Wantons down !! 

For the application fee I sold some of the shoes and sandals people had thrown at me all these years. I had made so much of money that I saved enough for the acceptance fee as well. With a application like that ISB couldnt ignore a candidate like me. 

My interview was in the evening at about 7. It lasted about 40 mins coz the Samosas took time to come. My application was so strong that they didnt have to ask me a question. 

As expected I got a mail from Mr. Menon saying that I was admitted to the Class of 2010. Hurray !! Hats off to all of you who worked behind the scenes for me !

Now I am looking for someone who will study the course for me and do the pre-reads, assignments and case studies. Are you interested ? 

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Me about myself


What sense does it really makes to describe myself?

I am too honest to lie,
and truth if revealed will create havoc.
When I was 8
Someone pushed me into a pool
And when I was 15
someone I didn't know spat at me
And when I was 17
someone I had never spoken to punched me
And when I was in between and all around
I was in between and all around
But most of the time just plain amused,
And these things are meant to do you some good
And what I'd like to know is
Did they ?

Because if not
I want my money back !!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Why the world needs a Superman !


In the lead up to the final scene of Superman Returns, Lois Lane sits in front of her computer, at a loss for words staring at her Pulitzer Prize winning editorial, titled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”.  — a article she writes after feeling betrayed by Superman. After meeting Superman she is able to deal with her emotions and towards the end she writes the opposite one titled: "Why the World Needs Superman”

What if we had to answer this question? Do we need Superman? Yes we do more than ever. We need him for his lack of cynicism, unadulterated committment, his heroism, his decency, his kindness, and his innocence. In a world full of darkness and selfishness, violence and despair, we desperately need the last man capable of being such a true champion.

The Mumbai terror attacks have given birth to an unprecedented feeling of helplessness. It is extremely frustrating to see that our security in the hands of those who care least about us. A issue garners importance only if it can garner votes and not neccesarily for the betterment of the poor and needy. 

The world needs a leader not a politician and Superman is the kind of leader that we need. Somebody whose conscience is not corruptable. Somebody willing to put himself in the line before letting harm come your way. Somebody who is not in there with the motive for revenge arising out of past sorrow / angst. A true leader like him wouldnt see caste, religion, race or sex before reaching out. Superman posses all of the honesty, and virtue that seems to have either been lost or forgotten in today's society. He is the first, the best, and the character that we as human beings should all aspire to be more like.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Australian W(h)ine

"Often we find ourselves with hands on hips waiting for someone to either face up or someone in the sightboard to move away; all the little frustrations that happen in Third World countries and the heat as well." - Matt Hayden

This comes from a guy whose credential includes: 




4. Forgetting conveniently that he hails from Queensland which is hotter than India. Is the stadium there air conditioned?

"I have said since I got back that there are a host of things that conspire against you in India. It is a hard place for fast bowlers to keep running in and get through their overs, The sightscreen and spectators play more of a part than they do anywhere else in the world. Their batsmen take up a lot more time than most opposition batsmen do. I mean runs cost you time as much as anything else. When a lot of boundaries are being scored that slows things down a lot" - Ricky Ponting

Well Mr. Ponting, 

1. India is a hard place for fast bowlers regardless of their nationality. If it was so hard on your fast bowlers then what about our fast bowlers who are not as fit as your bowlers.

2. Sightscreen play a part?  Which part ?? The part where you are looking for a place to hide and make ridiculous excuses. What different are Indian Sightscreens are to any other sightscreen?

3. Do our batsmen go and pee in between balls? They have the same 'facing' as your batsmen. If our batsmen were delaying I find it surprising that the Match referee didnt notice it. 

4. Now you blame everything on the boundaries being scored. The remedy lies with your bowlers. If they didnt bowl lollipops like it was some kind of wholesale we could have saved about 3 days each test match.

Is it that tough to accept that a better prepared team beat you fair and square. We didnt need a Sydney or Bucknor to beat you. We didnt put you on dust bowls. We didnt use illegal tactics by levelling false complaints and accusing you of being racist. Like Bhajji said while you and your teammates were busy giving bakwaas gyan by writing books and indulging in fishing the Indians were preparing hard. And this showed on the cricket pitch too

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

A letter floating on the Web


Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.

Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India .

Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima .

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?

I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar . Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money.  Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.

Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it.. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.

Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him.  Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us.. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day.  Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?