Kudos Mr. PC

Our Home minister PC has already done a pretty good job as Finance minister to combat terror. His numerous steps have ensured that terror is never the same again. For the uninitiated here is a list of major stuff he did as FM to battle terror:

1. All of us know that one of the major sources for Terror funds is the stock market. By bringing it down to 50% he has singlehandedly cut off a major supply of terror funds. When stock prices were high, most people assumed it would stay high. So these terrorists started investing and funding like crazy, getting their fidayeens addicted to higher standards of terrorism. When those terror sources need to pull back on that spending, where do you think they will cut first? I think it will be hard to fund terrorists when you can't afford to pay the dhobiwala.

2. By having sky-high inflation the terrorists had to spend more on their operations. Since income was not growing so funds availability for future operations was lower. 

3. Growing interest rates meant that cost of funds had increased i.e. that much lesser funds available for future.

4. Barring the recent rally Mr. PC had managed to bring the amount of Terror funds into India. The $ was at Rs. 45-48 levels. Mr. PC brought it to Rs 39. So even if the Terror $ into India increased the end Re value was lower. So Mr. PC made the Terro sources spend more than what they would have for same end Re value. 

Keeping him as FM would have been beneficial in the long run. Just like how banks are scared of funding anything now, the terror sources too would have been scared of funding anything. Infact Terrorism would have died a slow death ! If only Shivaraj Patil had worried about terror as much he had about his clothes then it would have given PC a longer tenure as FM.  

Smack D in the house !

Here I am ! Another milestone in my journey called Life ! The ISB-MMX bloggers war 1.0 is asking about the journey. (Deadline has passed ! But ki farak painda hai !) 

Getting into ISB was not easy ! It involved lot of planning and execution from others for me to get in. I paid my friend to prepare for GMAT on my behalf while I sat and finished 5 seasons of "Two and a Half Men". He had done a fine job coz I scored 720 though all that my other friend who wrote the GMAT on my behalf did was click the mouse. 

Then my roommate created a login for me at ISB and completed majority of my application details in exchange for letting him use my laptop to book his honeymoon travel. Then came the difficult part - Essays !!

Essay 1: Three reasons why ISB should take me

I asked my rival colleague to write it for me so that his biggest competitor is out of his way doing an MBA.  And Boy !! He did oblige gleefully and wrote it with intense passion.

Essay 2: Speech for GSB President

I asked my best friend to do it for me. He is full of shit and still has so much crap to offer to the world. So I thought why not give something to ISB. 

Essay 3: Zumba essay

For this I asked my Uncle who is a speech writer for the local MP. Crappola is his domain of expertise. He filled it up with so much of empty promises, blah-blah that ISB Adcom would have given a standing ovation after reading this one. 

Reco 1: This was the best way for my boss to get rid of me without looking evil and what a fine job he had done (for once!). If he had written even 10% of it for himself during the time when he was trying to crack MBA then he would have made it to Harvard.

Reco 2: This was the most expensive of all. I had to treat my colleague to a lunch at "China Valley" to write this one for me. And he didnt let the Fried Wantons down !! 

For the application fee I sold some of the shoes and sandals people had thrown at me all these years. I had made so much of money that I saved enough for the acceptance fee as well. With a application like that ISB couldnt ignore a candidate like me. 

My interview was in the evening at about 7. It lasted about 40 mins coz the Samosas took time to come. My application was so strong that they didnt have to ask me a question. 

As expected I got a mail from Mr. Menon saying that I was admitted to the Class of 2010. Hurray !! Hats off to all of you who worked behind the scenes for me !

Now I am looking for someone who will study the course for me and do the pre-reads, assignments and case studies. Are you interested ? 

Me about myself

What sense does it really makes to describe myself?

I am too honest to lie,
and truth if revealed will create havoc.
When I was 8
Someone pushed me into a pool
And when I was 15
someone I didn't know spat at me
And when I was 17
someone I had never spoken to punched me
And when I was in between and all around
I was in between and all around
But most of the time just plain amused,
And these things are meant to do you some good
And what I'd like to know is
Did they ?

Because if not
I want my money back !!

Why the world needs a Superman !

In the lead up to the final scene of Superman Returns, Lois Lane sits in front of her computer, at a loss for words staring at her Pulitzer Prize winning editorial, titled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”.  — a article she writes after feeling betrayed by Superman. After meeting Superman she is able to deal with her emotions and towards the end she writes the opposite one titled: "Why the World Needs Superman”

What if we had to answer this question? Do we need Superman? Yes we do more than ever. We need him for his lack of cynicism, unadulterated committment, his heroism, his decency, his kindness, and his innocence. In a world full of darkness and selfishness, violence and despair, we desperately need the last man capable of being such a true champion.

The Mumbai terror attacks have given birth to an unprecedented feeling of helplessness. It is extremely frustrating to see that our security in the hands of those who care least about us. A issue garners importance only if it can garner votes and not neccesarily for the betterment of the poor and needy. 

The world needs a leader not a politician and Superman is the kind of leader that we need. Somebody whose conscience is not corruptable. Somebody willing to put himself in the line before letting harm come your way. Somebody who is not in there with the motive for revenge arising out of past sorrow / angst. A true leader like him wouldnt see caste, religion, race or sex before reaching out. Superman posses all of the honesty, and virtue that seems to have either been lost or forgotten in today's society. He is the first, the best, and the character that we as human beings should all aspire to be more like.

Australian W(h)ine

"Often we find ourselves with hands on hips waiting for someone to either face up or someone in the sightboard to move away; all the little frustrations that happen in Third World countries and the heat as well." - Matt Hayden

This comes from a guy whose credential includes: 

1. Blaming the 2005 Ashes loss on God.  

2. Expressing disappointment after getting bitten by a dog. 

3. And let's not forget his arrogant sledging the English after they took the Ashes.

4. Forgetting conveniently that he hails from Queensland which is hotter than India. Is the stadium there air conditioned?

"I have said since I got back that there are a host of things that conspire against you in India. It is a hard place for fast bowlers to keep running in and get through their overs, The sightscreen and spectators play more of a part than they do anywhere else in the world. Their batsmen take up a lot more time than most opposition batsmen do. I mean runs cost you time as much as anything else. When a lot of boundaries are being scored that slows things down a lot" - Ricky Ponting

Well Mr. Ponting, 

1. India is a hard place for fast bowlers regardless of their nationality. If it was so hard on your fast bowlers then what about our fast bowlers who are not as fit as your bowlers.

2. Sightscreen play a part?  Which part ?? The part where you are looking for a place to hide and make ridiculous excuses. What different are Indian Sightscreens are to any other sightscreen?

3. Do our batsmen go and pee in between balls? They have the same 'facing' as your batsmen. If our batsmen were delaying I find it surprising that the Match referee didnt notice it. 

4. Now you blame everything on the boundaries being scored. The remedy lies with your bowlers. If they didnt bowl lollipops like it was some kind of wholesale we could have saved about 3 days each test match.

Is it that tough to accept that a better prepared team beat you fair and square. We didnt need a Sydney or Bucknor to beat you. We didnt put you on dust bowls. We didnt use illegal tactics by levelling false complaints and accusing you of being racist. Like Bhajji said while you and your teammates were busy giving bakwaas gyan by writing books and indulging in fishing the Indians were preparing hard. And this showed on the cricket pitch too

A letter floating on the Web

Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that.

Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India .

Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima .

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn't it?

I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar . Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money.  Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.

Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it.. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.

Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him.  Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us.. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day.  Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?

Salute the 'Real' Heroes

26/11 Terror has shaken not only India but the world itself barring 9/11 like never before. Bomb blasts have never stopped the Maximum city in its tracks. Everytime a bomb blast happened the spirit of Mumbai was back up the very next morning in full steam. 

But this attack has been so different purely because of its cold-blooded nature. But thanks to a few Heroes things couldnt get any worse. This post is aimed at thanking the 'real' Heroes as mentioned below:

1. Politicians: Though our politicians are always dignified in their conduct but this time they took the cake. Banners all over Mumbai 'saluting the martyrs' in which photographs of politicians were larger than the 'martyrs' themselves. Even in moments like this all they could do was blame each other. The Dy. CM of Maharashtra also went to the extent of declaring that this attack was only a minor issue. Our Narendrabhai had even declared 1cr as aid even before the operations were anything close to getting over. Politicians are model role models as to how one must try and extract mileage from any tragedy.

2. Visual Media: Our responsible media was at its best during the entire episode. They excelled in sensationalizing tragedy. They reported in a absolute sensitive manner by showing scant respect to survivors ,dead people and their bereaving relatives. They helped the entire saga get more interesting by giving away the location of our security forces in the building. They helped reduce the population of India by abetting the murders of some of our Top Security personnel. 

3. Balasaheb Kaka : A special mention. The Sainiks dont think twice before vandalising any place but were no where to be seen during the ghastly attacks. Maybe they dont have the experience to fight when opposite person is unarmed. In that case can somebody request terrorist to come unarmed next time or ask Mumbai people to carry weapons. Sainiks can be as good as NSG. 

4. Raj Chacha: A special mention again. He didnt seem to have an issue over the NSG being airlifted from Delhi and if I am not wrong none of the NSGs were Marathi Manoos. So none of the MNS guys interfered in the operation. But next time please request that any anti-terror operation in Maharashtra will have to be carried out by Marathi Manoos only. Also please take up with ISI / LeT suitably to ensure that any terrorist attacks on Maharashtra will be carried out by Marathi Manoos only.  

5. Pakistani Army / ISI / Govt. : You risked your reputations by sending these terrorists. So you too are a hero. On the battlefield you are reputed to the proverbial losers who run off with tails tucked between the legs. But the terrorists didnt let you down. When one of them was caught he said "I want to Live!". So did the hundreds of innocent you killed but I guess you couldnt hear them because of the sound of the guns you were firing.

There are a lot of heroes but these stood out. So I made my gratitude to them public.

Dear Raj Chacha

I fully support your "Divide the country" policy. Soon Maharashtra will consist of only Marathis. But then what political issues will you take up and garner votes when next election comes? Here are my suggestions which should keep you going for next 60 years atleast: 1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, he shouldn't study harder but just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school. 2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi. 3. Prime Minister, President and all other leaders should only be from Delhi. 4. No Hindi movie should be made in Mumbai. Only Marathi movies must be made here. 5. Buses, trains, flights should be stopped at every state border and staff should be changed to local men. 6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are 'snatching' employment from locals. 7. Lord Shiva, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north (Himalayas). 8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from Uttar Pradesh (UP) only. 9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from Centre because that is the money collected as tax from whole of India, so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra? 10. Let us support Kashmiri militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community. 11. Let us throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra. Why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world. 12. Let us stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should also speak Marathi. Hope my brilliance benefits you like it did everybody else. Regards VS

Dear Gilly Chacha

I read excerpts of your soon-to-be-published book in all newspapers. And I found it deeply mota-vating i.e. it was so much crap that I didnt feel like anything shitty for the next two days.

Your motive is clean: to boost sales of your book - a noble thought ! But Gilly chacha masala was less !! We public want more tadka in the books to be attracted to read it। Also with more spice more reporters (newspaper and TV) would have allotted more space/air time to your stuff about culture। My invaluable expert advice below:

1. You should have accused Tendulkar of approaching you for fixing a match and offering you a complimentary vada-pav at his restaurant.

2. You should have accused Bhajji of being racist by calling Symmo "Bandar", Clarke "Pilla" and you "Billy".

3. Tendulkar and Bhajji forgot to tell you that they dont shake hands after coming from toilet. You should have said they are forgetful (and not sore losers).

4. You should have emphasised on cultural difference by saying that while Indians use low floor "Sandas" the aussies use Western style toilets.

5. You should have disclosed that Michael Clarke was the epitome of Gandhigiri. He belives in playing hard (to get out) and standing his ground even when the catch is taken at 2nd Slip unless Umpire gives him out.

6. You should have written that Punter chacha had swapped the Bucknor Chacha's spectacles which is why he was umpiring exceptionally at Sydney. ICC could have implemented this elsewhere on trial basis.

7. You should have accused Bhajji of being gay and making passes at Lee chacha when he patted the bat against Lee's Butt.

8. I hope you have mentioned a lot more about the Sydney Test hearing as how yourself were honest in making different admissions in front of Match refree and appeals commissioner, how Clarke's admission was wrongly deemed "dishonest" and how Symmo was playing in sportmans spirit.

9. You should have also disclosed how Bhajji was hiding his baldness in the name of religion by wearing turban.

These are only some of the pointers। There are lot more. Maybe you can plan a sequel for the book and we can sit together and write it perfectly.

Regards

VS

'Raj'niti of Maharashtra Nav-tod-fod Sena !!

The last few days at Mumbai have been tense with Raj Thackeray's tirade against North Indians. I wouldnt wanna comment whether he is right in his thinking or not but the means he is using is definitely not right. As expected there is a uproar in the political circles against him. But what he is doing is anything new?

BJP, Shiv Sena, VHP and Bajrang Dal have been doing it since inception in the name of "Ram" and moral policing! What about Godhra, the recent violence in Orissa & Karnataka ? Were they 'acts of God' ? Were you not doing what Raj is doing? Was your intention any different than dividing the country?

Congress has been doing it though they have been smart enough to orchestrate the same behind the scenes. What was the reason for OBC reservations? Betterment of the people? or cheap votebanks ? Even at the cost of meritous students ! You go around claiming to be a champion of the masses but in reality you are nothing but glorified pimps willing to sell the country in the name of votes so that you can loot the government coffers and fill yours and send your 'meritous' children to US/UK to study.

RJD probably has the highest number of murderers in the party but hats off to them that they have the audacity to come out in public and ask the govt. to book Raj for murder. Thats the RJD way of saying "Welcome to the Club ! Now you are like one of us!". Everybody seems to be missing the point here. Why are people of Bihar forced to look for employment outside the state? Its because the Bihar politicians have thrived on keeping its masses poor & uneducated.

All this is a case of pot calling tthe kettle black. Politicians have thrived on divisive policies and violence to score cheap points. No matter who wins its the common man who loses. He is parts of "Tum hame vote do, Hum tumhe Takleef denge" offer. He offers his votes and the return favour is that he is beaten, has his cars vandalised, bikes burned, shops looted, wives and sisters raped .. in short his life is disrupted !

Time to do the ulta ! Common man should come to streets and start beating up politicians because he is not getting his roti, kapda or makaan ! Politicians have no idea on how they are damaging the country through their mindless cheap tricks to get votes. And they call themselves leaders ! Irony at its vey best !

Maximum City ! Maximum shock !

I have stayed in different places in India. But the culture shock when I moved to Mumbai in 2007 was unmatched. Mumbai is not more crowded than Chennai or even Calcutta, during peak hours. But I quickly found out that it’s always “peak hour” in Mumbai. I wondered if people ever got comfortable with perpetual rush hour - 21 hours a day. Also the people around here always seem to be in a hurry. Nobody seemed to have time to exchange pleasantries.  

 The distances seemed endless. In any other city I would have been out of the city within an hour. Here it took me 2 hrs just to reach my office. I was also shocked by the extreme poverty and ridiculous opulence standing side by side in Mumbai. Walking down the street, I am likely to pass someone who earns nothing, then someone earning Rs. 100 a day, then someone earning Rs. 20000 a day.

 My biggest - and least expected - culture shock happens when I went back to my native city – Mangalore. Everything around seemed to be moving a snail’s pace. It took me three days to get over how fast life is in Mumbai.

 All in all, it does take a while to adjust to being in Mumbai but rest assured, most people start feeling more comfortable after a couple of weeks. Before long I found myself falling into a love-hate relationship with the maximum city, its frustrations and its strange appeal.

Love is not blind, Its retarded - II

I received a lot of passionate mails on this. A few randomly chosen responses below:

Resp#1 :: "Idiot !!!"

Resp#2 :: "Retarded huh!I feel even if there is so much of misunderstandings that crop up for reasons that otherwise wouldnt have...When has there been a case that you have the cake and eat it too.."

Resp#3 :: "Hmmmm....Specially intended to me haan:-)"

What I could get from these responses is that the post was misunderstood to be some sort of anti-love campaign. Well people read the last paragarph one more time ! Anyways I was only disputing the popular notion that Love is Blind and not the feeling of love itself !

Love is not blind, its retarded !

They say Love is blind. You dont look before you leap. They say its a wonderful feeling to be in love. Makes you feel on seventh heaven. You can do anything to stay in love or win it. They say love makes you a better person. Love shows you the world you never thought existed. But there is a downside to it too.

People in love tend to act more foolishly than they would normally. Egos tend to be hurt more often than it would otherwise. Still we walk on the path like a donkey with a carrot held close to its mouth. The donkey feels the carrot is in its grasp in the same way how we feel about true love. We sacrifice so many things, our individualities, friends & hobbies. They say love completes you but it does not. It only gives you an illusion of completion. To sum it up we lose a part of our life that would have been dear to us at a point of time before love kicked in. People make themselves more vulnerable than they would any other time. I have seen people struggle for love, fight for love, destroy themselves and die in the name of love. And the journey seems endless ....

So the million dollar question is "Is love blind?" ... I say "No its retarded".

So is falling in love foolishness? Would I recommend not falling in love? No way ! I would recommend on the contrary. Love is a beautiful feeling though strangely our reasoning power goes for a toss. But no pain, no gain !! But dont go into Love kingdom expecting a fairytale.

Management Rules

1. Credit for a job well done travels upwards. The blame for a botched up job travels downwards.
2. Your bosses's KRA will be your achievements. Your KRA will be the failures.
3. Your exceptional reports that travel all the way upto top management undergoes major changes at only one section. The "Report by ________ " section.
4. Your Boss buys time by asking for data that he knows you'll struggle to get. Additional benefit: That way he gets to blame you for a bad decision.
5. No matter when you start on a assignment, regardless of simplicity or ease, you'll always finish at the last minute.

(Will keep updating from time to time)

Divide, Multiply and Rule

Of all mammals I believe humans are the most social and insecure species. The level of insecurity though not explicitly stated can be maddening at times and yet be completely unnoticed. Any given place, any given setting we are looking at ways to deal with our insecurities. On the outside we would like to be seen as strong and independent but the truth of the matter is that we all live in a world full of internal demons.

We are always trying to form groups wherever we go. And we dont stop at that. We look for ways to increase the people in the group and strangely succeed. Then one fine day you wake up and realize that the group needs sub-groups. Though all this is done in the name of diversity and need for different opinions and perspectives but the reality is that we are viciously addicted to "Divide, Multiply and rule". And there is no end to it.

Let me give you a example. Say, I go and work at the marketing department in a big MNC in US. There the first level of grouping of people will be done department-wise - Marketing, Product Development & Manufacturing. (I am not talking of professional division here. I am talking of people forming groups) Then second level will be within the department - Seniors, Juniors. Then the third level will be Americans, Europeans, Asians etc. Then the fourth level will be South Asians etc. Fifth level will be Indians, Pakis, Chinese etc. Sixth level will be North Indians, South Indians, East Indians etc. Seventh level will be Kannadigas, Tamilians, Andhraites etc. Eighth level will be North Karnataka etc. Ninth Level will be District based. Tenth level will be Caste based. And the list will go on ... from here on it is more and more customised. What complicates all of this is that all these are heavily interlinked. There will never be a clear distinction between sub-groups within groups.

So why do we do this? Why do we make our lives more complicated than it already is? Why do we look for "security" by making groups and sub-groups ?

I am just guessing nature has made us this way to spice up our lives (with politics, infighting, rivalry etc) !

Rock On

"Tum ho toh gaata hai dil ..... tum nahin toh geet kahan" - screams my junior's status message on Gtalk !  At first I didnt get what it meant but it didnt take long enough for me to realize that it was the lyrics of "Rock On". Just like him several other friends of mine too had "Rock On" lyrics as their Gtalk status message. Never had I seen any movie finding its way to so many status messages. 

Makes me wonder what was the one thing that made this movie different enough to capture the imagination of so many cool dudes and babes !  Being an guest expert in Behaviourial Sciences it surprising to me that so many people had fallen to the movie's charm though the movie had no Bikini scenes, kissing scenes, item numbers, running around trees, villain, the customary dishum-dishum  or SRK !!

For me it was the mature way in which the story was handled with the kick-ass songs. Unlike other Bolly movies it didnt show Rock stars as badly dressed drug sniffing over-tattoed morons. 

But what was in it that clicked for you ?.....................  Socha nahin toh socho abhi !!

The Art of insecure living

Last to last week a girl committed suicide because she was dead convinced that the world was doomed to be destroyed because of the big-bang experiment !! 

You wouldn't blame her for being outrageously stupid in doing it because the news channels were reporting it in the manner as if there was no tomorrow. Some of them even had the B-grade music in the background to announce the "pralay". That was a classical of journalism in India having gone to the dogs. Sensationalism had replaced common sense !! Take any god damned story, add some black magic music, show goddess kali and a sensationalizing reporter and you get a sizzling Bullshit determined to scare the hell out of you.

They say journalism mirrors the society. Do we as a society like to live in fear ? be constantly reminded that the world outside our homes is dangerous ? There are already enough real issues I dont think we need any 'engineered' ones. If we are destined to die .. we will ... even in the 'safe' 4 walls of our home !! 

There is no denying about dangers lurking around the corner but i dont want a hairy nincompoop telling me that on national television !!!

Theories

Life teaches one many lessons. Based on this a person forms certain thumbrules, laws n theories. Theories are often confused to be of scientific nature only ... but in reality it can be on anything. So here I am writin some of my theories ... believe it or not .. they are evident in everyone's life. Its only a matter of whether u realize it or not.

Theory of Approximation

"One in face of little knowledge shall approximate the expected knowledge."

Application: Imagine ur self in a exam. You are supposed to draw a diagram (circuit or machine, watever) and as expected u have seen it .. but cant draw it well. So u draw it approximately ... didnt get it? You draw the outline in such a way that anyone who doesnt want to comphrehend it in detail which just assume you are correct (i.e. the teacher here).
I did it once in the Basic electronics paper .. i knew just one circuit diagram n i drew it in three questions. And believe me when i say that all three got full marks because all circuit diagram on the outside look the same.

Theory of convenience

"One shall assume according to his/her convenience when in a tight spot."

Application: You are stuck with a dilemma. Whether to copy in a exam or not. Assume conveniently that you are smart enough not to get caught and then do the needful.Theory of distractionOne shall in a position of embrassment do something to divert attention to something less embrassing or somebody else.Application: Politicians are my living inspiration. Whenever they do a scam and are caught, they expose somebody else's scam to divert attention.

Theory of Expectations !!

"An achiever in the face of compliments feels the pressure in the form of expectations !"

The best example that I can quote here is Sachin Tendulkar. He is a achiever without doubt. So people compliment/praise/idolise him. He feels that he owes the performances to the people so he feels the pressure - the pressure of expectations - everytime he takes guard to face a cricket ball. And lesser mortals are no different !