Creative inputs for Zucky

I feel its been quite sometime since Zuckerberg & Co. have come out with a 'pathbreaking' feature on Facebook. And since the global mantra for quite sometime now has been on localization to reach deeper I thought Zucky could use some of my selfless creative inputs to spice Facebook up for us.

Politicians

To be able to be politically correct always they need a few buttons - "Outside Support Like", "Secular Like", "Liking only to keep communal forces out", "Anticipatory Like" and instead of "Poke" they can have "Vandalize" and instead of "Liking" Pages they should be able to "Defect" to pages. Also instead of educational and work qualifications they should allow them to post Scams and their respective amounts to their profile.

Consultants

They should be able to "Consultize" - where a normal sentence will be converted into so much sophistication that even Oxford dictionary would start shitting bricks to make sense.

For e.g. "Things will never be the same again" would consultize to "History has to be regarded as a chaotic formation, in which acceleration puts an end to linearity and the turbulence created by acceleration deflects history definitively from its end." 

MBAs

In addition to "Like" and "Comment" they should also have a "It Depends" button

Dilli junta

They should have a "Tu jaanta hai main kaun hoon" button

Bangaloreans

They should have a Chill Macha/Chill Maadi button.

Punjabis

Since Punjabis love "Big" in whatever they do, FB should have a "Patiala Like" button. Also all status updates after 9pm should automatically get converted to English.

Gujjus

"Pages you may like" recommendations should be based on American demographics and preferences. Instead of "Sushant Patel and 9 friends Like this" it should be "Greg Stevens and 100 Americans like this"

Bengalis

They should have a "Udi Baba" button and "Pages you might Bhalo bashi"

Stock Brokers

Instead of "Like" and "Comment" they should be able to "Buy" and "Sell"

Fundamentalist feature

Facebook should not let you change your relationship status more than 3 times. After that it should change your status to "Unstable", "Loose" or "Corrupted by Western Culture"

In-built therapist