Aitch Aaarrrggghhh (HR) !!

As most of you know I had put in my papers around last Valentine's day. As soon as I put my papers, my boss and my superboss convinced me to seek help from the HR ! They said they wanted to retain me post-MBA also and that I must talk to the HR to see if something can be worked out. Sounded good to me. I love my company and I know there are ample opportunities availabe within the company. 

The salary would definitely be lower than what I woud probaby get post-ISB but I for one have always cared for the quality of work rather than the pay attached to it. So I put a one-line email to the madam in the HR dept saying that I wanted to speak to her regarding my resignation. She replied the next day with her number and told me to call her up. I called her and explained the situation. She seemed very understanding and told me that she'll check my profile, job rating & my bosses's opinion before consulting with her boss and coming back to me with an offer. So far so good !

In the next couple days the HR madam informed me that they more than want to have me back at my company. I would get a position and pay commensurate with my potential and academic qualification. This sounded really good ! 

When I decided to get deep into all this, HR madam put me to her boss. Our conversation as follows:

HR Boss: Ask me what you want to ask. (Inside His Head(IIH) - Whatever it is better be good. My Kaafi is here)

Me: Sir, I have gotten into ISB. When I put in my papers my super boss put me onto HR madam. This is to work out for me something post-MBA that I can be part of the company. (Inside my head (IMH) - I am gonna be a MBA dude. You better have something nice to tell me)

HR Boss: What do you want to know? (IIH: Hurry up ! My Kaafi is getting cold !)

Me: I want to know details. (IMH: Duh? Are you even listening)

HR Boss: You have to go on a unpaid leave for a year. You will be coming back to same pay, same position & same location. Then we'll see your performance over a period of time and take a call if we want to promote you. (IIH: Yeah ! Take that you sucker for ruining my Kaafi!)

Me: What period of time are we talking of here? (IMH: It better not be more than 48 hours if you want me retain my sanity)

HR Boss: Cannot commit that to you. Can be anything. 1 year, 2 years or longer. It all depends on your performance. (IIH: Longer as in till your retirement you sorry piece of shit)

Me: Ok. But doesnt my higher academic degree mean anything? (IMH: Dude ! Am I stupid in putting 20 lakhs to come back to the same thing?)

HR Boss: No. It means nothing. You would not have contributed anything to the company when you are away. How can we justify your promotion? (IIH: Hahaha ! Now I have you on the ropes ! If qualification meant anything I would today be a peon drawing a annual 3-digit salary)

Me: Ok. (IMH: *Blank*)

HR Boss: Anything else you want to know? (IIH: Come on you smug! Now that my coffee is ruined I can do this all day !)

Me: No sir. I think I am done. Thank you for your time. (IMH: I give up. You win. Thanks a ton. You saved me from Harakiri, you moron !)

All this was a very disappointing experience. I have had good experiences with the HR before but this one surely spoiled everything. 

But at this point I realized that coming back to the same company would have disastrous. I mean what new would have I learned. I think I need the experience of extremely good companies to be able to come back to my company and straighten up the mess. Hopefully one day I can !

Is Desh mein aana LADO !

"Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of a man at twice its natural size." ~ Virginia Woolf

Belated Happy Women's day folks !! This day every year makes me thank god for his best creation till date !! And like all other good things, this might also come to an end soon if we dont wake up and see the truth. Sex ratios have only gone from bad to worse over the years ! With education progressing and literacy increasing we would have expected it to only get better but its not happening, atleast till now ! 

What would happen to the day when the Sex ratio would hit a critical point ?

1. Same sex marriages would be the norm of the day ! Man marrying woman might be a dream come true types thing ! We might have a lot of "Save Woman" initiatives floating around.

2. There would two kind of humans: Man and no-man !

3.  Women would replace eskimos in Museums !

4. Just to get into ISB, lot of guys would undergo sex change operation since the number of women itself would be so low (forget about the no. of applicants) that every 'woman' would get selected in ISB by default

5. Cosmetic companies would be taken over by Gillette.

6. Developed countries might offer Fair sex credit to developing countries in line with the Carbon credits

7. Men would have found a way to reproduce or simple adapt genetically to produce children ! When you might go for childrens admissions, on the admission forms instead of Father and Mother you would have Father (Fatherly) and Father (Motherly) ! 

8. Alternatively we might also see the legalization of Draupadization i.e. one woman marrying about 4 -5 guys. (Monogamy/ Bigamy will be banned). When you might go for childrens admissions, on the admission forms instead of Father and Mother you would have Father 1, Father 2, Father 3, Father 4 and Mother! And none of them would probably know who the real father is !

9. Breast milk might replace Oil as the most sought after liquid in the world. Wars cannot be ruled out !

10. Population of men would halve as 50% would die after eating what they cook

11. Economy would fall by 75% as No woman = No shopping = No economy stimulus !

........ and many more ! May seem funny but its true ! Need to spread the message far enough for it to even be remotely effective !

SAY YES TO GIRL CHILD !