The Chronicles of Section B

The journey from April 11 when we were 0% MBA to September 29th when we are 50% MBA narrated in memories !

Finance: The Biggest Scam in History

Finance = "Faffin INtuition using chANCE"

The world of Finance is one big scam. They have made money out of making other people look like a constipated monkey tied to the kitchen sink. From the outside they make us believe them to be superior lifeforms who seem to know where the money is.

They help in reducing the rich-poor gap by constantly making the rich people poorer thus doing their bit for the society. So what if that costs us employment ! What's better than seeing somebody's life savings' going down the drain and all they get is "Economy is bad" ! By the way who the jackass in the universe controls the economy ? Let me know if you find out.

Coming back to Finance, take a look at Finance courses in a B-School and you'll understand the dirtiest practical joke played on humanity. Nothing is certain. Everything is assumed and then theories are built on that assumption and then they'll relax those assumptions, subtly prove the assumptions were no good and conclude by saying that the base assumption was an act of god.

You can manipulate every assumption as per your own convenience. Tweak the cash flows and you have a new NPV. Make big equations with lot of terms such that people cannot come to terms with that equation. Clout your lack of capability using Probability. Call everything expected and then expect the unexpected. Blame it all on idiosyncrasy. Tell people that the need to make these assumptions is to build intuition. Hurray !! Now I am a genius with a foundation of false knowledge based on unrealistic assumption. Gotta take one for Intuition. The survival of the human race depends on my sacrifice.

Lets look at something called the one factor model:

Expected Return = alpha + (beta*Factor of shock) + idiosyncratic error

Now take any historical data including your grades since kindergarten and tell me if you cannot fit it into this equation. First you make a prediction. And then based on it make a estimate. And them make up for your lack of understanding with the error term. So in totality you need to be a astrologer and not a MBA grad.

Pivot quite a few of your numbers on Historical data and then use the same historical data to prove how wrong the historical data is i.e. do not use the past to judge the future. No wonder Mutual Funds say "Past performance is not an indicator of future performance" which in English is "Dude somehow the guy who broke the coconut, broke it at an auspicious time and hence it all worked out well but don't you think that you are going to get this lucky".

In the end I guess everyone needs to earn a living by hook or by crook. So be it by pulling a fast one on the countless number of people who believe Finance is something to do with money. Everybody who can count himself to be a decent Astrologer can be good Finance professional. So all you Finance hopefuls, start listening to Bejan Daruwala more intently .... you just might pick up Intuition !

Highlights from Day 4 - Term 4

Cults

1. Arbit CP Cult

• Thou shalt excercise freedom of speech and abuse it with utter disregard to everybody else's freedom
• Thou shalt have a opinion on anything and would be disqualified if they go through 15 minutes of no CP

2. No Arbit CP Cult

• Thou shalt restrain from any kind of speech and communicate only in signals or at max a YES or NO
• Thou shalt compensate for the over-abuse of Freedom of Speech of Arbit CP cult so Class average remains acceptable

3. Kela Cult

• Shall further Kela in the Snack segments and shall start by not sharing their kela with anyone. Self-help is the best help.
• Flag-ship event to be conducted every year to reinforce the belief in the cult

4. Spanky Cult

• One of the oldest cults to exist and not restricted to any class of citizens
• Recognized from non-cult members by Chappal in one hand and spank mark on the butt

5. Sleep in Class cult

• Believe in sensory deprivation for better output

6. Devil's Advocate

• Disagree with anything regardless of sanity or relevance

Underground Cults

1. Honor Code Ranbir Cult

• Member should be able to exhibit 3 dance steps from HCR's Dance competition performance

2. Pappu Cult

• Pappu can't CP saala

3. Wild Life Cult

• The lesser said the better. The pic is self-explanatory

4. Gayme Cult

• Life is a Gayme. Play it when hard.

Other Highlights

1. In sports action Vishakha Infrastructure went head-to-head with Mudit Housing. Even the use of "Arre Baba" and Soumitra's late cameo didnt help Vishakha overcome Mudit and match ended in a exciting draw. Kishore covered the full match in totality.

2. Honor code Ranbir exposed: Ranbir was the first one to raise hands in the GSB Class when asked as to who all will be willing to pay bribes. So much for the Honor Code !

Term 4 Day 1 - Top 15 Highlights from Section B

1. Class to Mini: Jab wohi safedi, wohi chamak humare Section mein mile, toh koi dusre section mein kyun padhe ?

2. Return of the Basuri ringtone: New Term, old Tune, same habits !

3. Society may have evolved from Monkeys but this is how Garoda 'evolved':

4. Bearded Sai for marital advantage:

5. Safedi pe Safedi: Sangoman and his name card that only he can read

6. Vikash's fight with ASA goes in vain

7. Step-Daddy gets subliminal

8. Arjun Ghoda becomes the meritocrat and he noted that both Jennifer Aniston and the other dude were Tardy. But Sangoman played spoilsport.

9. Sujay begins his 'one-child' movement which was where he was getting to .. again and again !

10. KK's revolutionary idea to have two Governments for the same country so that they compete on taxes and we end up paying lower taxes

11. GC's infinite counter-CP on how MGTO was a important course while his answer was supposed to be the opposite

12. Birth of the henchman "Bafufankar":

13. Tojo was the Rainbow Musketeer battling Brownie Mamta in an umbrella fight. Contact me for the exclusive video (NO ! ISB Times is not the freaking media partner).

14. Inspired by Step Daddy even Spama Viggy and Superstar Dharmikant got themselves a good shave !

15. Honor Code Ranbir and Aish were playing connect the dots games during the classes. When Aish tried to trick our Ranbir he invoked the Honor Code provisions against her.

This Week in Section B !

1. MADM Homework: Precision Worldwide Inc.

This Case threw up some interesting solutions. The best one was :

2. KK and his love frog

This week was marked by the discovery of KK's love frog. That solves the mystery behind the croaking noises in KK's quad at night. By the way he had a change of heart by the end of the week.

3. Return of the Mafia

If only Paul Olsen knew my family's core competencies

4. The new B-plan

To start a Restaurant with a "Differentiation" factor

5. Kiss of Love

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?" ~ Rohit Kumar

6. Masterclass Viggy

Practice makes man perfect. Net practice makes a Viggy perfect.

7. The Tardy Meter

The meter kept running well into overtime .....

8. Sujay the commentator

With his vishalkai Bhuja and his chamak challo Jhange Sujay was the commentry star of the Cricket tournament

Smack D's tip of the week: The new spike to Resumes

Start anything fancy just to provide a spike to your resume whether it matches your personality or not. Chor ke daadi mein tinka !