The Chronicles of Section B - Part Deux

Campus Recruitment

It is ironic that we keep stressing that a B-School stint is one for the long term and yet everyone judges it by the job you got on campus. Campus recruitment is a very stressful affair and one must be prepared to be patient as well as brave.

The process starts with a job being posted by a company calling for Expression of Interest (EoI) along with Resumes. A resume is your need-to-know-only version of your life which has been glamorised to appeal to the company you are applying for.

The EoI serves as the sales pitch where you would explain why the best part of your resume should mean anything to the company as well as why the company must overlook the bad part of your resume. This in some cases is also a make-or-break.

However the process of shortlisting is a very strange one and very opaque. For some reason the company doesnt tell you what they are looking for other than vague pointers like "should be energetic, must have good analytical ability, should be a team player etc". Which person in his right frame of mind would say that he does not have the above qualities? So once the recruiter sees a similar looking pool of resumes they have their own methods to shortlist resume.

Once the shortlist has been announced, probable interview dates are notified sooner or later. An interview would usually happen on campus. Some cases it might happen off-campus as well. It is important to arrive at an interview dressed appropriately and in a manner that doesnt distract or put off the recruiter.

Interviews are usually a series of questions aimed at testing your attitude / aptitude. HR has a good one word that describes this entire process "fit". But not always would interviews drive in a direction that would test out the capabilities necessary for the job. Sometimes it becomes a way for the interviewer to massage his ego by exercising a false sense of power. In such interviews you might find the recruiter getting angry even if you just moved your lips.

Sometimes an interview process will be long and torturous because HR wants to use all fancy tools during the selection process. Some of them call it skill-based interview and would usually involve doing a meaningless task in a fancy manner.

A common meaningless question you can expect in an interview is "Whats your long term and short term goal?". I cant remember the last time people ever had such a plan for themselves. So it is just how good you can lie to the opposite side and convince them.

One more version of this question where would you find yourself in 5 years. And they expect you to know this too. Most often than not you don't even know if the company promotes anybody more then once in those 5 years. So what do you do? Bluff your way out again.

Considering ISB has mostly super-achievers another common question one would get is "You were doing so well in your previous work, why did you decide to quit?". As if that was a secret. Money Honey ! And yet people would talk random stuff about learning, career acceleration etc etc.

By this time the company would have made a tentative decision about you. If you are 'IN' then they'll discuss salary which they'll claim as being 'competitive' which is another way of saying "Welcome to poverty dude". They'll blow up the CTC with all sort of expenses like the rent of the space you'll park your ass on etc.

But if they decided to reject you, they'll tell you indirectly. Never directly. You will see the birth of random excuses for not hiring you.

By the way its not always the HR guys who are the smarties. Some of the junta going in for interviews feel like they are god's gift to humanity. And for them to appear for a interview is a charity event to make the HR feel good.

Overall its a crazy process that tries everyone involved in it. In hindsight though its lot of fun.

Class Participation

Once you start with your classes in a B-School you'll realise a demon you thought never existed - Class Participation. And this being a component (sometimes sizeable) of your grade only makes matters worse. I believe in the West students don't as much participate in class as much as the Professors would like. So to 'incentivize' them CP was probably made a component of their grade. Soon B-Schools around the world copy pasted this in their own curriculum.

Indian B-Schools are no different but in doing so they ignored the very critical assumption that this was based on. Indians love to hear their voices and they love their grades even more. When these 'incentives' align all hell breaks loose.

Different types of CP

1. Good CP: A good CP comprises of to-the-point meaningful contribution which would be a insight to more than 70% of your classmates. You know one when you hear one.

2. Expat CP: This CP typically starts it "When I was in the US" usually to emphasise that they are Phoren return

Prof – In the US people don’t drink bottled water not because it is safe but because it is convenient. There even tap water is safe unlike in India.

Student trying to make sure everyone knows he is Amreeka returned – Maa’m, but in Phoenix the tap water isn’t very safe!

3. Arbit CP: This CP would be a bolt from the blue. Interesting theories will be born.

Global Economics class is on and the Prof is explaining about alpha (factor of productivity) and a student asks why alpha doesn’t change and after a long discussion between the prof and the student, the student has discovered something.

Student: Sir, but alpha will change if there is a genetic evolution !!

4. Desperate CP: This CP would be born out of desperation. Usually involves asking about definition of random terms.

Prof teaching about Total Factor Productivity. Shows calculation for US in the slide.

Student: "Why about the non-Residual Labour?" (Prof stumped because student had in desperation seen Residential as Residual)

5. 'Lost in translation' CP: This would start with the intention of a very long CP which keeps drifting away and away from the discussed topic. But in the middle both the student and prof forget where it all started.

Prof: ** Discussing Fed Ex case, so asks junta to profile the man who does the buying decision in companies **

Student: He is a dumb person !!

Prof: ** signals for restraint **

Student (now calm): .. blah blah ... blah blah ... we will do this .. we will do that ...

Prof: Who is 'we'?

Student: 'We' as in the company

Prof: Ok. but you cant refer to yourself as 'we' unless you are royalty

Student (continues) : blah blah ... (after couple of minutes) .. Sir what was your question ?

Prof: *stumped* Thank you for the entertainment. Lets move on now !

6. 'I am spreading Gyan' CP: This is CP delivered like a teacher scolding kids in a way as if he would make sure you get your entire RoI from his CP.

7. Question CP: This CP returns a question for a question even if the best thing to do when a question is asked is to answer it.

Prof: (explaining game theory – first mover advantage) So what do you think you should do as the leader or the first mover in this market?

(The whole class is thinking…only one hand is flying in the air the instant the question was over)

Prof is happy (atleast one person knows the answer!!)

Prof: Yes, what do you think?

Student: Ma’am, if you are a leader shouldn’t you do what leaders do?

8. Flashback CP: This CP would go way back into history as what one had done at college / work et all.

Student: Sir, we at X & Y (Consulting Company) have random talks with our customers to tell them that they dont need what they think they need. We tell them don't worry you'll need it next year. When you'll need it we'll be there.

9. 'I am right' CP: Here the dude starting the CP will not stop unless the class bows down to him and declares him king.

Prof: So what should Coke and Pepsi do to increase market share in the world ?

Student 1: Positioning…bla bla bla…branding…bla bla…..Most importantly, I think coke should redesign its packaging, for example coke can be sold in tetra packs (similar to the Frooti Pack)

** Class bursts into laughter **

Student 2: But dude, cola drinks cannot be sold in Tetra Packs as the Fizz will go out

Student 1: Ok, then we can sell it in plastic pouches and carry bags

Strategy for getting CP chance

Before you know it you'll find yourself struggling to get the Profs attention to do that CP you wanted to do always. Just remember getting that chance / big break depends on whether you can get the Profs attention or not. Here is a valuable tip:

What you need: Fluroscent colored pen, Bright T-Shirt

What you should do: Adjust your seat height to the maximum. Lift your fluroscent pen and wave it aggressively.