The real story on what a Lion would not but a Tiger Wood !

On November 27, 2009 Tiger Wood left his home at an unusual time of 2.30am in his car and crashed it. The media has put out infidelity as the reason. But my extremely reliable sources tell me that he was out early to be early in the queue and take advantage of the Thanksgiving discounts when the stores opened. Cash-constrained middle class junta do this all the time. When I was a kid I had gone to the cricket stadium at 5am so that I could be early in the queue and get good seats when the gates opened at 9am.

So here is where the problem started. Apparently when he left his house he kissed his wife goodbye but called her by a different name. Women have some probability of forgiving you for forgetting their habits, anniversaries, birthdays but Name is No-No. So as Tiger scampered for his life his wife chased him down and smacked him with a golf club which led to this car crashing. For the curious junta, why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? Seems like he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron. Golf habits die hard I tell you. Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.

This is probably the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards. The Lesson: the difference between a car and a golf ball is that Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. Reports say that Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

As the news spread Tiger's rival Phil Mickelson call Elin. No No, not for expressing sympathies but to pick up some tips on how to 'beat' Tiger. Seems the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.

But that wasn't the end of his troubles as more women came out of the closet. Tiger had been nailing quite a few more than 18 holes in his golfing adventures. In a statement Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had which made Gillette unhappy because they always thought they were. So Gillette dropped his contract. Nike also wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere. Even Accenture gave up on him the other day. Seems he's delivered high performance which they cannot hope to match.

It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.