ISB @ Facebook

The first fallout of a free 45Mbps internet connection is that junta at ISB log-onto social networking sites very frequently. Here Facebook is the king of social networking while Twitter hasnt caught on much. This is more so because Twitter is more of self-bakar while Facebook has a much more social feel. It is this social feeling that evokes different behaviour from people while they are facebook - so much that you can nearly predict the next status message update. Here are the different kind of ISB junta hooked onto Facebook:

• Retarded Gamers: These are the kind who are stuck onto retarded games like Farmville / Mafia Wars. They are either sending random requests to add as neighbour or begging all to send them 'gifts' to use on Farmville. Some of them are perverts too. They keep looking for "lonely" animals who accidently reach their farm. Dont ask me what they do with these animals ! They also join random communities (which have been made to insult their intelligence) related to the game "Group to get XYZ gift on Farmville"
• Cognitively challenged Quizzers: These just keep random quizzes "What kind of fart are you?" or "Which Simpsons will piss on you?" in the hope that they will be unravel the mysteries of their pathetic existence. Men specifically would take quizzes which involves some chicks in their friend lists as answers. Whole others try and live their fantasies on being different characters in legendary movies.

1. Quiz: "Which of your friends are likely to have a crush on you?" Ans: "This pretty chick on your friend list wants to run a road-roller on you"
2. Quiz: "Which Sholay Character is most likely to fall in love with you?" Answer: "Dhanno"

• Meaningless status updaters: These are people who'll tell all random shit that happens in their life which nobody cares two hoots about. Some sample updates would be

1. "Just Woke Up" - Let me know in case you know someone who doesnt
2. "Had omlette for breakfast" - Thanks. Now that we know you wont starve to death we might as well hire that hitman
3. "XYZ Exam - What was I thinking?" - you were thinking I need this subject so that I have a shot at getting some pretty chicks in my study group

• Random groups: There are a group of people who'll join random groups in the hope that their being a retard might socially acceptable somewhere. Some of the random groups they join are:

1. "Nobody ever looks at me" - In lay man terms you are one ugly dude
2. "I like chasing cars if nobody is looking" - Be my female dog

• Add anything that updates: These people would add anything that updates. Any group, any person - interest no bar, religion no bar, intelligence no bar !
• Quotes: These are people who feel they can never have anything worthwhile to say because of their dull and boring lives so they just copy and paste random quotes from the internet
• Life's history: These are people who feel that the world wants to eagerly know what's up in their lives so keep updating everything they do

1. "Just took a dump, looked very dark in colour. Did I have too much garlic in my pasta?"
2. "Just sneezed on my quaddie. He must have felt it as Amrit Jal."

• Show offs: These are people who just wanna show off using their status messages.

1. "Party'd all night" - Oops dude you might have forgotten to add - 'by myself'
2. "Missed the Deans list by one A" - ya dude ... if I got all As even I would be in that list

• I like all: These people never have anything intelligent to say so they'll just hit the "Like" button on everything
• I comment: These people have too much say but for their bakar there is too little time on the planet so they'll comment on everything - mostly random stuff

1. Status "Woke up and had breakfast" .... Comment "Same pinch"
2. Status "Me thinks me will go for some trek" ..... Comment "Who's Me?"

• Rotlus: These are people who use their status messages to crib about everything in the world

1. Status "Undie feeling too airy. Too many holes #FML"
2. Status "Why cant I get the dimple when I smile?"

• Random profile pics: These are people too scared of revealing their identity as if the CIA was looking for them so they use random profile pics. Quite a few women think that if they add a profile pic men will stalk them so they put Flowers as profile pics
• MBA left status: These are people who'll keep reminding what % of their MBA is left as if that was a mystery. Or is it a advanced warning for when doomsday is coming?