After changing my status from Ashley dude to ex-Ashley dude on close of working hours on Feb 20th, I finished my packing & got set to go home on 22nd. I was really looking forward to the vacation as this would be a good & decently long one I had after a long time. I had two heavy bags and a laptop (Thank God ! I had already shifted a lot of luggage home last christmas).
Well Mumbai is different than nearly all other cities. You start about 2 hours early and you still are not sure if you will reach the airport / railway station / bus stand on time - the city is so god-damn unpredicatble. My train was at 2.30 pm from Thane so I started at about 12.30 from my place. I had to first take a Auto and get to the Borivali Bus stand. I managed to find one right in front of my building gate. Stage 1: Accomplished ! I reached the bus stand by about 12.45pm and found the half-empty bus waiting. Boy ! This was my lucky day !
I got into the bus with my huge backpack, the suticase & laptop. I must have hit nearly all the passengers sitting at the aisle. I probably hit the world record for the maximum number of "Sorry" in a minute. It was almost like I was a AK-47 which had run out of bullets, so it was spraying "Sorry" all over the place. Considering my luggage I went and sat at the last seat but not without a Uncle trying to screw my happiness by pushing me and throwing in some taunts "to taste". Somebody must have forgotten to tell him that the entire bus goes to Thane and not just the last seats. So even if he sat a minute or two late he would still get a last seat and reach Thane. Finally I settled down and got slightly comfortable despite the terrible heat and the nauseating Uncle who probably had last cleaned his armpits when he spotted the Hailey's comet.
So I reached Thane station by 1.30 pm. An hour to go ! So in without a hiccup. Unfortunately my bags were real heavy, the sun was too cruel and the train would arrive at only Platform number 7. So I plodded my way through to the station, climbed the overbridge at Platform no.1 and got down at Platform no. 7. It took me ages to get there. And it was not done ! My coach would be stopping at the other end of the platform ! Aaarghhh ! By the time I reached the spot it was almost 2.25pm and I looked like someone who had carried a lifetime on his shoulders.
Train came and I hopped in. The momentum of the heavy backpack pushed me well into the Coach. Thank god the AC was working. I reached my seat and found three generations sitting in the same compartment. They asked me if I could shift to a seat they had on the other end of the Coach. I obliged happily but made sure it looked like a supreme sacrifice and a favour. Unfortunately I gambled away my Upper berth for a Middle berth. Now I was at the mercy of others as to when I could crash !
In my compartment there were two other girls - Ms. Brown eyes & Ms. Curly Hair. Ms. Brown Eyes did all the customary goodbyes at the station to her family and friends. Ms. Curly Hair was more worried about the dripping Coconut Oil from her hair. After the train started moving both of them decided to settle down. They arranged space for a endless number of bags - Big ones, small ones, shiny ones and fancy ones - it seemed like they had packed for a lifetime. Soon Ms. Brown Eyes took out a sheet of paper. My peeping Tom instincts ensured that I had seen the opening line well enough to know that it was a sentimental love letter-cum-good bye from her boyfriend. He seemed to have his homework well. He had googled the Top 10 or 100 (watever !) love quotes of all times and then conenction them with bullshit. So much for originality in Love ! Ms. Brown Eyes was all tears and I am like - WTF since she was wetting my blanket and pillow! Ms. Curly Hair probably felt that she was being left behind in this Oscar winning emotional drama, so she took out her cellphone and started looking at what seemed to me her boyfriend's pic. The floodgates had opened and my bedsheet had to pay a price for it.
I chucked the bedsheet away and took out my laptop to watch LOST. But as soon as I opened it suddenly Mr. Baake Bihari comes along from God-knows-where and tells me "Maine bhi Business ke liye Chota Kamputar liya hai ! Aap humko use operate karna sikha denge !" and I am like "Aap kaun hai?" to which he replies "Humare paas bhi ek laaptap hai. humko use chalana sikhaiye!". I bluntly replied "Mujhe sirf personal laptop chalana aata hai. Business laptop nahin aata!" He picked the clue and went away without testing my sarcasm anymore !
At this point of time Ms. Brown Eyes and Ms. Curly Hair had run out of tears to shed. They decided to technically challenge my laptop with their Ipod and they turned on "Slumdog Millionaire". I got bugged and I put off my Laptop without any furthet ado. This was not gonna be my day ! I was so wishing that I had Flying powers !
I got my special Misery top-up late in the evening when a Bottle of water fell on me from the top. And as luck would have had it, the cap was loose and I was wet. So much for havin' taken the shower in the morning ! Rest of the evening passed off without much glitches. Woke up next day morning at my destination fully confident that nothing else can compound my misery now.
But Fate has nothing to do with fairy tales ! As luck woould have it the approach road was undergoing repairs. So I had to lug my luggage for about half a km more. Reached home and found my Mom waiting for me like she always would - with a huge smile on her face. My Mom, I tell you, is like Jaya Bachchan of K3G ! She will know from a km that I am coming ! A warm hug greets me at the door along with the list of items that had been prepared for Breakfast for me ! Yummy ! Makes all the torture totally worthwhile !
There is no place on Earth like home !
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