Wedding Chronicles - I (The Bong Konnection)

"A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he's finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My best friend Subhodeep has been in love since the last 2 years nearly. So late last year he decided to move on and get married to the women of his dreams. It was a strange feeling to get the news from him. My chaddi dost was getting married. Had we grown old enough? I still remember us parking ourselves on the bus stops outside our tuitions and looking at nature's beauty. And now he was getting married !

Managing to go to wedding was tricky as I had urgent committments at work around the same time and plus with me quitting it was doubly tricky. But there was no way in which I could miss his wedding. Luckily even my other buddy and partner-in-crime Hradayesh was gonna be there so Subhu was gonna be screwed by his best buddies. I landed in Kolkata in the evening before the wedding day. Subhu had sent his car to have me picked up. So the royal treatment had started from the airport itself. 

The journey from the Airport to Subhodeep's home was fascinating. Kolkata is allegedly a metro and a one with some many amenities. For example if you are going for any function, you dont need a make - up as there is enough carbon in the air to decorate the face. There is also lot of dust just in case you needed to add the glamour quotient. The roads are amazing. They are based on the famous funnel design. The main roads are two cars wide. The approach roads are one car wide. Just to make sure the people there bond closely on the roads.  This is one city that needs too many flyovers (approach roads included). All cars there are dented even the Mercedes. The trucks and buses operating there seem as if they were bought when the first ones were made by the companies. Kolkata loves its heritage and culture. This is why they still have the old buildings which are very close to each other (some are standing only because they cannot fall i.e. well supported on all the 4 sides). Conclusion: Infrastructure needs a major overhaul ! So is Kolkata really a city of Joy ? Yes it is. Because the people are awesome. If you want to ever see how a content life is to be led then come to Kolkata and live with them. They are a closely knit unit who still pride in living life the simple way which is difficult to find in any other city.

It took me about an hour and half to reach my buddy's place. And there he was .. waiting for me at the window - all dressed up in a amazing kurta ! Then I was treated to a couple of awesome Bengali dishes: Rosogulla, Sondesh, 4 pc Maach and four huge tiger prawns cooked in authentic Bengali style. Then I had loochi ( 9 of them) and was very very full. Btw the Dulha is not supposed to be eating non-Veg before the wedding day. So he had luchi and curry. After which we retired for the day !

The Bong weddings are physically a torture for the Dulha. He is supposed to wake up at 4 am in the morning and then made to eat curd. After that whole day till the wedding is over he cannot have anything but fruits and Mishti. Oh man ! Imagine all the yummy food around and you are only allowed to drool ! Culturally a bong wedding is a amazing treat to the eyes. In the morning they pack lots of packets (about 63 here) which contains daily use items for the girl and the family (exhaustive - dresses, deo, powder and even comb). And there is a entire barrage of sweets. Also a first to me: a model of the mantap with the dulha-dulhan, family and the panda (priest) made out of sweets. Also a model of a house and farm outside it made totally out of the masala (or sounp that we have after food). Took all of that in 3 Tata sumos and delivered it at the girl's house.

From there I went to pick up our Dubai Sheikh Hradayesh from the airport filling him up on the action that he missed till now. We went to Subhu's place and were greeted by food again. Man ! I cant remember the last time I have stuffed myself to this level  before and I still wanted more. Its not everyday that you get to eat such awesome stuff. In the evening we reached the wedding hall ofcourse with the natural make up and glamour added by Kolkata's roads and traffic. We went in and surrounded the groom in his moment of glory. A weird note to add here: the groom's mom cannot attend the wedding. That sucks ! I wonder why such a thing exists ! People came and blessed him while we watched him put on his awesome Colgate smile. You gotta give it to him, its a tiring day but he still looked energetic.

Then the bride's father came and asked our Dulha to come and marry his daughter. Our Dulha was in for more torture as he sat in front of the havan with the smoke blowing on his face and being surrounded by so many people. It was a virtual sauna bath for the poor chap. The bride joined him an hour later and ditto for her. Soon it was time for the sindoor but the sauna bath had taken its toll on the dulha. Instead of applying it on the forehead he applied some on her nose as well. My best buddy had just lost his bachelor's degree !

The ceremony continued for some more time and soon it was time for dinner. Food was amazing again. Soon the Dulha joined. But the ceremony was not completely done yet. In Bong culture the first night doesnt happen on the first night. The first night the dulha-dulhan and their friends spend the night together playing games till late in the morning.

We commemerated that by first doing the Dhoti-haran of my buddy and his close cousin ! Then we played the dumb charades of B & C- grade movies like "Adhoori Kanya", "Sookhi Naali mein Murde ki Geeli laash" and many more. The rest as they say was history ! 

By 5am we called it a day. I and Hradayesh were supposed to catch the early morning flight at 8 so we woke up at 6.30 and scrammed to the airport !

All in all it was an awesome time ! Just too memorable for us !