ISB MMX Mumbai Meet-up 11.0 (The M Files)

Mumbai 11.0 started amidst much fanfare at The Tasting room, Lower Parel which was by the way not "Somewhere in the Phoenix Mills" ! So much for the poll !! We had quite a few new faces, most of which belonged to the female cult, about whom you would discover as we go on !

I went straight from Office so reached there much earlier than others (6.45pm to be exact). But one person still managed to beat me - Priya. She reached so early that it was time for her to go before anybody else came. So much for being the early bird ! Anyways she looked different from the first (and only) time I had seen her on Mumbai 1.0. She had grown her hair slightly. She opined that it was time to get a haircut, I begged to differ though. 

As usual Ashwin, the Diet Coke Keshto, joined me.  Flaunting his biceps he came in a red Swiss Tee. Soon others started pouring in. Sujata probably wanted to repent for winning the Best friend award so she came along with Shishir to boost his spirits ! Nitin Vishwas wanted to make a dramatic entry ! And boy didnt he? He walked right into the mini-fountain. Love blinds you but friendship? Sindhu, who was right behind, made a smart entry after Nitin Vishwas's famous "Walk on the water" ! The Karaoke (singer) lover Akshay Pai wasnt too late either !

We also had Pranjal Desai (female please) who came up with a award winning pickup line:

Pranjal: So are you married?

Me: *Blank* <> Not yet atleast

Pranjal: But I am ! 

Shruti (aka Shoozie coz her shoes are choozie) made a threatening entry. 

Shoozie: Today you are going back with fewer teeth ! How dare you call me Navjot Sidhu?

Me: How the hell did you come to know that? I had lost a few teeth from Shishir's dentures but I had told noone about it !

Salome was probably the most tortured one of all ! As if remembering so many names on her first meet was easy, almost everybody she met was introducing themself as Shishir. On top of it she didnt even like the food. She spent the entire evening ordering take-out from another restaurant.

We also had a foreign import in our midst - Samyukta who had dark circles - all thanks to mis-information she received about ISB meets happening in some of the other cities. She spent two sleepless nights memorizing GMAT scores for Mumbai admits since she expected us to also play the memory game. For last minute revision she had written down the GMAT scores on a tissue paper. Her exams in childhood days had given her enough training on how to make chits !

The Mumbai meets seem to have really caught the attention of people in other cities. This time we had people visiting from Bangalore - Aishwarya Ravishankar ! And she literally swore that she saw PGK lurking around the corner ! 

She approached Nishank for help who vowed to fight Mr. PGK until the last drop of wine in Jay's glass ! In the meanwhile Janani was polishing her Taekwando skills while Rachita was training her on the different styles of self-defence she learnt on her incredible India tour ! Together they were gonna be the Karate kittens in ISB !

In the meanwhile PK had managed to walk into the meet. He seemed to be very interested in photography. The two females sitting on the next table will testify to this. He spent nearly 15 minutes with them. Shishir was as usual in his elements. He also got into the photography and seemed to take PK's pics from behind. When asked why he said "PK looks better from behind !" Parag D and Shouvik too had managed to join us. Shouvik had a relatively tough cutting lanes on the express highway.

In the meanwhile Parag D managed to do a Nitin Vishwas. He too walked straight into water. Our better half of the Hedge fund buddies Amit had come along with his wife. On their way Amit almost got robbed. Only his sound I-banking instincts managed to get him out of this one.

Shweta Divecha wouldnt give Shishir the number of the photographer who had taken her perfect picture because she like Shah Jahan had cut off the hands of that photographer. Akansha was there too but she would call Sharmaji every 5 minutes to check what he was doing. In case he was going to have an iota of fun in her absence, she would immediately head home and take 'corrective' action. Yakeen nahin? Sharmaji se poocho !

Poor restaurant ! They had a torrid time with us being there with all that noise. Infact to cancel our noise they tried to play loud music too ! But come hell or high water things were not gonna change. 

From there we decided to go to Ghetto. Quite a few of us split from there while most carried over the action to Ghetto at midnight. We were joined by Delli-6 awardee and the oldest waiting ISBian-to-be Rishika (admit since R2 Class of 2009) ! The ultraviolet light inside the ghetto was just about right for some more action !

This was when I decided to play the little Vodka trick. I filled a glass of chilled water and took it around as if it was real Vodka. I offered Pranjal a sip from my drink which she accepted without much hesistation. But she found it strong ! After all water is heavier than Vodka ! Ditto with Rachita who had one for the road ! Am I evil or what ? All the ladies except Rishika bid adieu. We were then joined by Colonel Muthoo (Sandeep) and Mr. 10 minutes (Sid).

Soon we were joined by PK's two angels (from the Tasting Room) and hence PK got busy again. But Shishir had started feeling jealous now. So he went to them and took PK's case in front of them. So much for the Bachi-kuchi ijjat !

Towards the end Shishir was feeling 500 bucks too rich. So he decided to bet with PK. The bet: would Rishika know my name? The result: Rishika could only tell that my name started with V. So much for Hugo weaving's character ! A famous saying - Shishir and his money are soon parted!

From there at about 1.30 am we decided to head to Red Lights (a pub). It was closed. Then we went to Polyester. It was open but the cover charges were too exorbitant. So we decided to go to Bade Miyan ! We had all the Bade Miyan specials - the bhunas and the rolls. 

Shishir to waiter: "Arre yaar ! Mujhe Bhaida roti khana hai. Lekin mujhe Bachhe paida karna hai toh roti mein Tel jyada mat dalna. Doctor ne bola hai !" (Wonder which fertility clinic he went to!)

Over the next hour we had awesome conversation to go with the awesome food. Shishir was frequently interupted by the waiter and asked not to be too loud as people in nearby buildings were sleeping. By 3.30am we were done and tired. 

Its been a long but Galatically awesome night. Hopefully these are clear signs of things to come in the next one year !

P.s: The history of Smack D's blogs -

ISB MMX Mumbai Meet-up 9.5 (The M Files)

Mumbai 9.5 happened on Wednesday 4th March at Apna dhaba, Andheri. After the grand chaos of Mumbai 9.0 where a sizeable crowd had gathered, Mumbai 9.5 was borne out of the necessity to connect better - courtesy a smaller crowd. So around 6-7 people were expected but we finally had about 14 people (Half of whom were waitlist-to-admit junta). So the spirits were high !

The meet began on a rather shocking note ! Discovered a species I didnt believe existed ! Enter re-applicant-cum waitlist convert no. 1: Shruti Narayan ! Shruti had managed to do the unthinkable - she not only laughed at all of Shishir's jokes (Yup ! ALL of them) but understood them at first crack ! And her infectious laugh ensured the others laughed along with her as well. That left even Shishir shocked - something he thought was not possible in his lifetime. 

We had in our midst a mystery women who would answer to the name M. You are most likely to spot her in Milan wearing Diesel branded clothes and being chased by Diesel salesman ! 

Her initial experience was good till the point the crowd mixed and she found herself sitting next to me. Food had just been served! Our conversation began as follows:

M: Anything vegetarian on the table?

Me: Yup ! 4 pcs of Nimbu and Pudina chatni !

She didnt know what hit her ! And she took a long time to recover. Hope I didnt put her off future meets !

Soon the discussion veered towards Laptops. At this point the man who answers to Gandhiji (and its derivatives) was at his best. Somebody asked him as to how one could gauge the speed of laptops ! To which he answered "You know its got a good speed if it can go from Powai to Ghatkopar in 10 mins". 

Then the debate on the best possible laptop - I proposed the Napkin ! It saved your lap, was extremely light, came in different colours & foldable into smaller sizes but unfortunately other than Pruthvi (who is a salesman's paradise) I found no takers !

Sid is Shishir's bunny i.e. Shishir can pull Sid's legs in 12 different directions at the same time (depending on Vaastu) ! All evening we had moments that were full of that.  At one point when they sat next to each other we had to clear the forks and knives from the table just in case Sid would attempt to kill Shishir. 

We also had the Angel Broker Red riding hood Neha in our midst. She was most of the time caught in the cross fire between Shishir and Sid. Poor girl was so traumatized by the experience that she was thinking twice even before uttering a word lest she got engaged in a cross-fire ! 

Shishir's childhood buddy Shweta was there. Shishir says that she is responsible for all his childhood's memories (and we all know that Shishir had a very disturbing childhood) ! 

Our Colonel Weed (Sandeep) was mostly busy plotting the next coup along with his deputy Vikram. He had arranged for the funding from M**hoot Finance for his deadly mission. 

We were joined in very late by Shishir's biggest admirer PK - for whom Shishir is nothing less than a magnet ! Wherever Shishir is present he follows - both in real world as well as the world wide web ! He was seen restlessly roaming around Apna Dhaba when Sid sat next to Shishir ! He would have almost wanted to kill Sid ! He and Amit quicky swooped on the group with the hedge fund idea ! And they found takers ! They invested my money in the laughing stocks ! I could now see their future:

Amit's enthusiasm was understandable given his exposure to childhood failytales.

We also had Maninder Gulati in our midst who was webcasting our meet on the net ! He told us about his years at ITC where he started out in the tobacco division but had to shift after he got addicted to it. Then he was enjoying at Product development for Fiama Di Wills where he would test the products on female models - a very much hands-on approach. Unfortunately fearing a s**ual harassment case he fled to where he was today ! 

We also had the 2nd Parag (Panjwani) in the group who was almost on a maun vrat ! He reminded me of a Blockbuster Kannada movie called "Tirupati" whose tagline was "When God is silent, he is violent" ! True to his name he uttered only Paanch Vaani during the entire evening. A quick message from our sponsorers -

The meet was a lot of fun with jokes and puns flying all over ! 

For all the guys/gals of other cities, the secret behind the successful Mumbai meets:

Try it and see the difference !

ISB MMX Mumbai Meet-up 9.0 (The M Files)

Mumbai 9.0 was destined to be different from the others in the fact that we would have both R1 and R2 junta partying together. Also since winter is almost over quite a few R1 public woke up from their hibernation. So an overwhelming number of junta were gonna be there this time.

Deciding the venue was tricky and opinions varied on choice of venue. But in R2 we had the batch's 'poster-boy' Hardik who wooed the public opinion in favour of Sportz Bar at Phoenix Mills. 

So it was Sportz Bar on 21st Feb at 6.30pm. About 28 people had confirmed.

Quite a few of us were there well before time so ensure we got seats before the weekend crowd got in. In no time quite a sizeable crowd had poured in. A few were running late (by about 40 minutes ... eggxact !!) while the others preferred to walk slow. 

Our Restless fish had always wished for a representative gender ratio in the meets and today he got exactly that. But the space constraint meant we sat on two tables and mixing didnt happen. So we started playing musical chairs to mix and match. We had a lot of introductions but not all of them were as smooth as desired. 

Fresh from the onslaught of Dev D a couple of sundays back, Parag barged in rather late but pretty much ready to model his evening to be Parag D. (Yes ! He got sloshed, emotional and puky). In fact he puked so much that the traffic police has now put up a new sign on the narrow road in front of Sportz Bar.

We had a special appearance by the relentless traveller Rachita Paes (not Pace) who finally decided to tour Mumbai after being done with other parts of India. By the way I had last seen her in Rajasthan next to a camel.

The meet was pretty much chaotic in the sense that there was action everywhere. I missed quite a bit of it because I too busy concentrating on the Pop Corn on my table. But it can be summed up by the following questions which made up for 75% of the conversations mainly:

1. "I am sorry, what was your name?"

2. "Oh sorry, I think I am asking you this for the third time."

3. "Are you from R1 or R2?"   

 because of the fairly large number of new people you had met. 

I met quite a few stand-out junta. But the 3 people who need special mention:

• There was this "random" guy whose name I am withelding upon request (read bribe). He is such a people-oriented chap that he has "U" in his name and not the selfish "I". That too inspite of staying in Powa"I" in Mumba"I" and working for Delo"I"tte. 
• Then we had an ex-Army commando who if I reveal on the blog will make me the 11th casualty on his 'laid to rest' list assuming nobody else gets lucky. By the way he informed that he was primarily a 'farmer' into 'weeds' and by depositing the money in a famed finance institution in Kerala he got lot of interest (13%) which helped him double his savings. He's gonna be the Captain 'G' on campus. And he got an enormous kick because the drink was served to him by 'Ialive' Nishant. 
• We had Sid who is not just any-Gandhi but Ne-gandhi. He is a CA at PWC and is rumoured to have leaked the Oscar winner's list by signing his name below. He was seen doing two things passionately - defending PWC & challenging that Ghatkopar was 10 mins away from Powai.

Later in the night we were joined by the 'barb-wired' couple Aviral & Neha, so our Parag D let loose a barrel of emosonal atyachar on them. By then the evening had been set-up nicely for a passionate outburst by all people drunk and senseless. It involved talks of life, emotions and politics. For the mintues of meeting please contact our poster boy 'Hardik'.

By the time things were done and dusted it was over 1am. A idea floated that we go some place to eat after all the booze but figured that it was better to split for the night since most of us were out of cash while Hardik was out of chances (he was already pulled up by his mom on thursday for turning up hic ... hic at 4am in the morning).

All in all a Saturday well spent. Guess the next one is gonna be even more rocking since the 75% contributor (ref questions 1 to 3 above) will be out of the equation. Also we have our consultant Akansha using her skills to tell us how we can cut costs involved in the meet. Till then this is Smack D signing off !

Smack D's memory test of the day: How many names and faces can you recollect correctly?

Next meet: A special quiz on who's who ! 

ISB MMX R1 Awards (The M-files)

Now that the R2 admits have started streaming in its time to announce the Smack D R1 awards:

1. The over-abused term: "My two cents" (its beginning to get on the nerves of most people)

2. Most words typed per mail: Vivek - the hands down winner (btw hands would have to be down in order to type)

3. Maxim zeal for uploaded files: Tom (just keeps 'em coming)

4. Artistically challenged: Pankaj Poddar (for his controversial and universally accepted logo)

5. Successful Marketing campaign: Chalo Chennai (with the huge number of underwhelming responses) 

6. FODU (Father of Doc Updates) - Nikhil (aka Narnikhil)

7. Versatility:  Restless Charmer / Restless Fish  (and btw now restless is a official four letter word for him)

8. Shakesphere's muse: The bee in the bonnet (who says "My name is a name is a name" and has different 'official' spellings for the same name. Shakesphere once asked "whats in a name?". Her reply "Whats in the spelling of the name?")

9. Discount Ninja: Jiggy aka Jignesh Shah (who can bargain a discount on anything including something thats free !!)

10. Diet coke Keshto: Ashwin (for messing up directions to the restaurant after two shots of Diet coke)

11. The truck stopping show-stopper: Rishi Dogra (Late night adventurist on the Lonavala highway)

12. The Chaddi buddy: Pallavi aka PJ (for taking the Pink chaddi campaign to the Ram Sene)

13. Byomkesh Bakshi: Vivek Pandey (for finding the three reasons behind crimes)

14. Relentless traveller: Rachita (done with India !)

15. Ms. Youtube: Sreejita (who is googling away the oglers !)

16. Most expensive mails: MRC (for promised sum of Rs. 1 lakh for the best B-plan which could go upto 1 crore)

There were more but I just ran out of awards !

How ISB Co2010 will revive the economy

Of late I have seen a lot of debate on Y! groups on how we can revive the economy. One thing we all agree upon is that each one of us has to contribute in some way or the other to revive the economy. So here is Smack D's prescription on how my fellow classmates can 'contribute':

1. Each one gift one: The best way to kickstart any economy is to target 'internal consumption'. (Source: MRC / New article on ISB site thread). So I suggest that all you guys buy me something on your way to ISB. Remember the better the investment you make for my gift, the bigger the stimulus the economy gets. Let me take two cases to explain: Mr. A buys me a Eclairs candy and Mr. B buys me a Porsche. Now how much of value can Mr. A add to the economy - not very significant ! 

While Mr. B adds a lot. One he buys me a expensive car. I invest on the fuel, tyres and maintenance. Oil companies and the retailers earn from the fuel. They are going to invest this money somewhere and grow it. More money means more spending power. More spending means the currency flow in the market is better. Economy gains !!

 2. Bring on the ladies: Its a well known fact that in India men spend more on women than anybody else because they are more chivalrous than their western counterparts. So somebody please write a mail to Mr. Menon asking him to take as many women as possible  in R2 for economy's sake (not for the safety in numbers that our restless charmer advocates for) ! Also the higher the number of women graduating from ISB the better for economy coz' women love shopping. I am sure most of the pay would go towards shopping and more shopping ! Economy gains again !!

3. Show me the money: Bank balances look good but they do no good to the economy. So after you have spent enough on women and my gifts I suggest that you hand over all your money and life savings to me, so that I can splurge and try my level best to boost the economy !

Any more suggestions are surely welcome.